There are a lot of behaviours that our generation has picked up from the one before us. And it’s not just behaviours. Characters, sayings, beliefs and so on have been passed on to us because they were the norms in the past generations. Our parents’ generations are exceptional in a lot of ways. They’ve gone through a lot just for us to have good lives. They’ve sacrificed a lot for us to get to certain places in life that they could never be when they were our age. They take out their time to pray for us and teach us the word of God, so that we would know wrong from right early in life. Like I said, they’re exceptional people. There are just some things that I think shouldn’t move on to our generation. There are some things that I would say in the midst of my friends and they would immediately relate. Why? It’s almost the same everywhere. It’s like all of our parents are in a group and they come together to discuss new ways of disciplining us.

This isn’t to shame anyone or insinuate that our parents didn’t raise us right. If you think that’s the point I’m making here, you’ve totally missed it. If for anything, I know my mother is an amazing woman. I doubt that I can do half the work she does with her hands a lot of times. Haven’t you ever seen your Father or Mother spend hours praying for you while you were busy pressing your phone? Has your Father not spent most of his time in traffic and still woken up very early the next morning to get ready for work? My friends tell me the wonderful things their parents do and it amazes me. There are just some things that we see as normal that are not. I know times have changed and everyone is “woke” now, so a lot of people do things to the extreme. But then again, the truth still remains that TIMES HAVE CHANGED. You can’t think it’s okay for you to ask me why I was at a guy’s house when I come to you, my parent, to tell you I was molested. That can’t be the first thing that comes out of your mouth. How about you support me first and doing the “parenting” later? I might have been wrong to let my guard down or trust so easily or stay out so late at night or get drunk for pete’s sake!  But it would never be okay for you to rub it in my face that way because you think I’m a bad child. I’ve heard a lot of adults’ take on the issue of rape and it’s depressing. Again, I might have made a mistake but you should always be my safe space. Are our children going to think they can count on us?  If they’ve really messed up, would they feel like they can run to us and not away from us?

Whether we know it or not, we tend to pick up one character or the other from our Parents/Guardians. The issue of choosing a spouse and marriage is one that still bugs me till this day. Even in our relationships, some of the behaviours we’ve picked up from our parents, as they are our role models in this area, comes out to play.  In a conversation I had with a guy, he jokingly talked about me cooking for him and that led him to ask me how good I am in the kitchen. I’ve always hated conversations like that. You don’t know how to boil rice but you’re concerned about the fact that I cannot pound yam. Honestly, I don’t know how to pound yam. Shoot me. But if I want to learn how to, I would. It doesn’t make me less qualified to be a great mother or wife. And if you think I would want to marry you that can’t boil ordinary rice so I can end up being your full time “caretaker”, you’ve got another thing coming.

We’ve gotten used to having girls do all the chores and cooking while boys “learn how to be men”. If you don’t drop that mentality, you’ll remain behind because things are a lot different now. Imagine having a spouse who is literally a partner. Someone who would pick up your slack and have you do the same for him/her too when need be.  Trust me, it’s an amazing feeling.

Check yourself. Do you think there are some behaviours you might need to readjust or unlearn totally? We’ll talk more on this in the next post. Have an amazing week guys❤️