Have you ever noticed how seriously loud the generators are at night? Living in Lagos where you thank God whenever there’s power supply is a whole experience. I wonder how I haven’t gone deaf. Or I have. I should be already. I’m on the floor, I can’t get up and my uncle’s stereo is on. He had turned up the volume to the loudest like he always does every other Friday when it’s just me and him in the house. I know it’s on and I know there’s music blasting out of the giant speakers but my cochleae aren’t just picking up any sound waves. Lagos generators finally destroyed my hearing. I’m deaf! Oh...wait. I just heard Baba Abu’s throaty laughter. Having Baba Abu as a neighbor is almost the same as sharing a room with him because even though his apartment is still about 30 feet from ours, we can still hear his voice when he talks inside his house. I don’t know which is louder - Baba Abu’s voice or these generators. For someone who has such a loud voice, I don’t think his ears work. Maybe he talks so loudly because he can’t hear his own voice. Or maybe it’s just the generators. 

I’m still on the floor wondering why my uncle’s wife hates me so much. If she doesn’t see a vision of me turning into a snake today, she’d have a dream about me stabbing her. I can’t even look when they slit the chicken’s neck to be prepared for lunch as we do every Sunday. She’s always praying for fire to consume the enemies and I keep thinking that one day I’d suddenly burst into flames. That’s why she’s been going for the vigil every other Friday with my cousin Reya. I love Reya, and she’s like the sister I’d never have but somehow I’ve managed to invite her into my late parents’ marine kingdom. A kingdom I never even knew I had. First of all, I wouldn’t even be here anymore if I had a whole kingdom. Secondly, my late parents only ever gave me a locket that belonged to my grandma which my aunt already broke because she didn’t “trust” it. With my aunt, it’s one thing or the other. Reya has been going to these vigils because we became sisters. Her mother claims I’m trying to turn her just because her daughter was starting to know the truth.

I did it again...one thought always leads to the other and then another until I’m just drowning in my mind. I’m in my head a lot. I didn’t even notice that the stereo was already off and I was just flat on the ground staring at the ceiling. I didn’t notice that his weight was no longer on me. Maybe because it’d always be there. Maybe Baba Abu will walk in one of these Fridays to borrow batteries for his remote because he has to watch Zee world and not because I’ve been screaming. I don’t scream anymore because honestly I’m tired. I just lie there and imagine things like I’ve been doing. Or maybe he’d hear me if I decided to scream one more time. Maybe his ears aren’t bad after all. Maybe if I scream just one more time...but these damn generators!