Random thoughts 

Have you ever noticed how a single thought can lead to another? And then before you know it, you have a chain of thoughts just floating around your head. These past few days, my brain has gone through this same series over and over. Same thoughts. Same order. Same chain. I'm exhausted. To make things worse, I go through the same routines with my body every day too. Yes. It's not just my mind that's in this crazy loop. My body has her own fair share of this punishment. It's wake up, shower, get dressed, and pray. I do all these with the same level of enthusiasm every single day - zero. I am stuck in traffic every day on my way to work and back. It's the same way I'm been sexually harassed by my boss. Yeah. And that other man. I'm “mistakenly” groped and hugged good morning so the tenderness of my breasts can be felt on their chests. 

You're probably thinking to yourself “why won't you just quit? “. I can't. I need the money. I need to have a job to be a human being. I'm already a disappointment to my parents. Imagine being worse than a disappointment... You probably want to know what I’d rather do if I could quit this job. Or not. I'd tell you either way. I want to be a singer. One with songs that actually touch the soul. This is why I want to write my own lyrics. It's another reason I need this job. I have a few songs written but they were too “sad”. I haven't written any new songs recently. I don't know what people think but writing a good song isn't a piece of cake. I have the voice of an angel but I need the perfect song to go with it. I'll never forget the look on my producer's face when he told me my songs were too sad. Maybe that's how I feel. And maybe someone out there would be able to relate. Well, I can't write a happier song just yet. I can't fake it. So I'm stuck at this mentally exhausting job where I am not allowed to speak up.