Bee’s Banter
Hello guys...it’s been a minute. It’s been a week actually but it feels like it’s been longer. I took a break without even knowing that I did. My last posts were a big deal to me because I felt like I opened up more...maybe indirectly but I did. It felt really nice to talk about certain things and put them in a way that people could relate to. It just kinda sucked that it felt like nobody was interested. I’m not saying nobody was. I’m saying it felt like I was talking and nobody was answering. I haven’t felt like that for a while and that feeling coming back just made me feel some type of way. I guess it was the mood or something because I’ve actually had worse posts.
I’ve wanted this blog for the longest time and so when I finally got it up and running, I was so excited. The love I got when I first started pushed me and really encouraged me. It was everything.
The same way I got the encouragement was the same way I had a few things try to slow me down.
I have a lot to talk about but when I first started, I was a bit scared to put them out. I don’t know if I was doubting myself but it felt like I was. I used to always have someone read through before I put up a new post. I didn’t want to look stupid or miss a typographical error and then have a reader call me out or something. I cared too much about what people would say because the way I had people showing me love was the same way a few people thought this whole “blog thing” wouldn’t last. Every time I had a new post, I would check the number of viewers over and over. I would check the comments and wonder why people weren’t leaving comments. I would be so confused because I was getting a lot of “nice work” and “👍🏾” but it wasn’t reflecting in the comment section. The number of viewers would be low but then all these people claimed to have read it. The only thing that kept me going was my love for writing. I wasn’t just going to give up but then I guess one emotional breakdown isn’t so bad 😂.
I just had to let myself know that I don’t really need anybody’s “Okay” for me to do anything (well except my parents😭). I enjoy writing and it comes naturally to me. It’s an escape for me and a means of getting all my imaginations out for people to see. I have a couple of people too that always take out time to read whatever it is I write. You guys are so amazing and my heart prays for always.
In the course of writing this, I took a break and checked my mail. I got a message from Adekunle Gold. No...he doesn’t know I exist. It’s a general mail he sends to his fans and I honestly don’t know why I’m getting it. Everyone knows I love AG Baby and so I read the mail when I get it but today’s own hit different. I’ll put a screenshot below.
If you’ve been feeling some type of way like I have, I just want you to know that you’re enough and everything you’re looking for is already within you.
Have a blessed week! Lots of love from this side❤️
7 Comments
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ReplyDelete"do not despise the days of small beginning" - a word and half ! Ride on Bee!👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾❣️
ReplyDeleteThank you 🙏🏾
DeleteYou’re enough and everything you’re looking for is within you already! Slowly but surely sis!
ReplyDeleteI can totalllyyy relate to this bee. Sometimes I'd be so maddd. Like "don't these MFs know I put in so much work into this"?. It's can be haunting. But this really helps. Feels like you wrote it for me. Thanks 😊
ReplyDeleteAwwwn...thank you too😊
DeleteSometimes your words just hits too close to home. I really dont know why, but nowadays I find out Ithat i really want people to think good of me more and more. Its counter productive because you can never please peopl. I think what has worked for me every time was going back to God and to his word. It give me a boost just to see the promises that God made to us. I have even taken up the habit of writing some of these promises on a sheet of paper and taping it all over my room to give me boosts whenever I read them. Just keep on doing what you love, that is the most you can do. Most people can't even claim yo do what they love. Be grateful and have a thankful heart, and most of all keep on being an inspiration to people. The sky is your starting point Nne.
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